Thoughts about South Africa

Quite a few conversations took place while I was back in Africa. Some were difficult, some were eye opening, but all of them were good for my soul. I often think that I am my most authentic self when I am in Africa. There is no room for anything but honesty.

Here are some highlights:

1. Talking to my wonderful friends JD and Barbara at their house one night about ownership. Some background is necessary here. A few months ago, my friend Rodney and I reconnected after not seeing each other for a while. Both of our lives had changed drastically and I was catching him up on all that had happened in the last couple of years since my last trip to Africa. He listened for quite a while and at the end of our conversation he said "you know that you will never own anything in Africa." I didn't understand what he was trying to say until this trip. There is a mentality among missionaries, volunteers, anyone who does charitable work, that because they are the ones driving a program, helping in a community, etc. that it only happens because they are involved. I have seen what happens when this ownership is not relinquished. What I came to understand from my conversation with JD and Barbara is that it's not about the work, it's about relationships with people and you can't own people. To make a difference sometimes means that you are invisible to the very people that you are working for or with. I finally understood that I will never own anything in Africa: not a culture, not a home, not a family, not a project, not a cause, nothing. That's a hard pill to swallow. I'm still trying to wrap my mind and heart around this concept.

2. I did alot of nursing while I was in South Africa. Mostly it was to teach the caregivers at the orphanage about first aid, educating an expectant mom about labor/delivery and what to do with a newborn, helping a 16 year old rape victim who went into labor while staying at the orphanage, and assessing a family in trouble with my friends Barbara and Priscilla. All of these conversations were eye opening for me and reinforced that I have truly found a vocation, not a profession.

3. Met a lovely nurse midwife from Zimbabwe while staying in Joberg. We talked at length about the government, racism, war, poverty, and caring for your neighbor. It was a beautiful conversation and I learned alot about how one person with evil intent can foster a generation of people who have nothing but hate for their neighbor, black or white. But even in the midst of such evil, goodness and generosity do prevail...and she told me story after story about people in her community living that generosity.

4. A difficult conversation with a friend where forgiveness and healing were paramount. I have learned much about these two things in the last two years. Trying and mostly failing to find them. I can honestly say that we were able to come to terms with the past and close the circle with forgiveness and healing. Amen.

I think that I hunger for conversation that goes beyond the superficial and I find that when I'm in Africa. I really want to find that here in America.

Good Times in South Africa

Pictures: Me and Fundo sharing a kiss..he's my boy.

Durban, seeing Zamani and Nqobile. Melusi and Khenani kept me company and safe. The beach was beautiful.

At the primary school...the kids love having their picture taken

Sleeping with the kids..my butt hurts, my legs hurt, they are bed/blanket/pillow hogs, Zanele (on the left) woke me yesterday morning with an elbow in my face and her legs entangled with mine. I love it.

I'm still the whitest girl in Africa...no joke!

More to come. Trying to upload to facebook, but having issues...welcome to Africa!

Greetings from South Africa

Hi gang...just getting to town to get on the internet. I have to say it's nice to have my own car...so far so good driving on the wrong side of the road...thanks to Brian for the use of his GPS system...I've only gotten lost once!

It's weird to be back at the orphanage, a lot has changed in two years. Kids are bigger, different management and caretakers, but some things are still the same. Kids falling asleep on my lap, playing games in my room, singing and dancing under the stars at night, fellowship with great friends, and walking to school and seeing hundreds of kids on the road. I don't realize how much I miss Africa until I'm here. Also here is the annoying bird that wakes me each morning...the same awful bird that I dealt with in Tanzania....I know I'm in Africa when I hear it's song!

The kids are doing great. Kwanele is the one sleeping in the picture...he is doing okay, but not well. He is being treated for respiratory problems and his breathing is very rough, he gets tired easily, and doesn't have much to say except, "I love you, Aunt Dianne." I love him. He was just 2 years old when I was here last and he hasn't grown all that much.

Here are some pics of my "peeps" and I hope you can tell how happy we all are to be together again!

Will write more later. Lots of love, Di

Fierce Conversations

In my relational leadership class at the UW, we are reading a book called "Fierce Conversations." Over the past seven years, I have been learning, practicing, and sometimes failing at having fierce conversations with people in my life, especially family. I found my voice in Africa and have wanted to build new behaviors around the way that I communicate with others. This past year has been full of conversations that have left me challenged, hurt, humbled, and wishing I had kept my big mouth shut! I guess the point is that I want meaningful relationships in my life and I'm not willing to keep my mouth shut anymore. Oy veh.

Kindness

I was thinking today about what kindness looks like in my life. Am I kind to the people around me? How do I show kindness? This question came up for me this week as I was contemplating what to do about a relationship that has been anything but a study in kindness. I was reminded this weekend at my nephew's wedding about I Corinthians 13: love is patient, love is kind...I feel anything but kindly towards this person right now. I'm really struggling to be kind to this person when what I really want to do is kick their ass from here to China and back...twice! It's interesting the situations that God puts me in and I know He does it as an exercise in building my character. UGH!