Dianne's Safari thru life!

Thoughts about South Africa

2009-08-28T19:26:00.001-07:00

Quite a few conversations took place while I was back in Africa. Some were difficult, some were eye opening, but all of them were good for my soul. I often think that I am my most authentic self when I am in Africa. There is no room for anything but honesty.

Here are some highlights:

1. Talking to my wonderful friends JD and Barbara at their house one night about ownership. Some background is necessary here. A few months ago, my friend Rodney and I reconnected after not seeing each other for a while. Both of our lives had changed drastically and I was catching him up on all that had happened in the last couple of years since my last trip to Africa. He listened for quite a while and at the end of our conversation he said "you know that you will never own anything in Africa." I didn't understand what he was trying to say until this trip. There is a mentality among missionaries, volunteers, anyone who does charitable work, that because they are the ones driving a program, helping in a community, etc. that it only happens because they are involved. I have seen what happens when this ownership is not relinquished. What I came to understand from my conversation with JD and Barbara is that it's not about the work, it's about relationships with people and you can't own people. To make a difference sometimes means that you are invisible to the very people that you are working for or with. I finally understood that I will never own anything in Africa: not a culture, not a home, not a family, not a project, not a cause, nothing. That's a hard pill to swallow. I'm still trying to wrap my mind and heart around this concept.

2. I did alot of nursing while I was in South Africa. Mostly it was to teach the caregivers at the orphanage about first aid, educating an expectant mom about labor/delivery and what to do with a newborn, helping a 16 year old rape victim who went into labor while staying at the orphanage, and assessing a family in trouble with my friends Barbara and Priscilla. All of these conversations were eye opening for me and reinforced that I have truly found a vocation, not a profession.

3. Met a lovely nurse midwife from Zimbabwe while staying in Joberg. We talked at length about the government, racism, war, poverty, and caring for your neighbor. It was a beautiful conversation and I learned alot about how one person with evil intent can foster a generation of people who have nothing but hate for their neighbor, black or white. But even in the midst of such evil, goodness and generosity do prevail...and she told me story after story about people in her community living that generosity.

4. A difficult conversation with a friend where forgiveness and healing were paramount. I have learned much about these two things in the last two years. Trying and mostly failing to find them. I can honestly say that we were able to come to terms with the past and close the circle with forgiveness and healing. Amen.

I think that I hunger for conversation that goes beyond the superficial and I find that when I'm in Africa. I really want to find that here in America.

Good Times in South Africa

2009-08-17T07:19:00.000-07:00

Pictures: Me and Fundo sharing a kiss..he's my boy.

Durban, seeing Zamani and Nqobile. Melusi and Khenani kept me company and safe. The beach was beautiful.

At the primary school...the kids love having their picture taken

Sleeping with the kids..my butt hurts, my legs hurt, they are bed/blanket/pillow hogs, Zanele (on the left) woke me yesterday morning with an elbow in my face and her legs entangled with mine. I love it.

I'm still the whitest girl in Africa...no joke!

More to come. Trying to upload to facebook, but having issues...welcome to Africa!

2009-08-12T06:47:00.000-07:00

2009-08-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

Greetings from South Africa

2009-08-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

Hi gang...just getting to town to get on the internet. I have to say it's nice to have my own car...so far so good driving on the wrong side of the road...thanks to Brian for the use of his GPS system...I've only gotten lost once!

It's weird to be back at the orphanage, a lot has changed in two years. Kids are bigger, different management and caretakers, but some things are still the same. Kids falling asleep on my lap, playing games in my room, singing and dancing under the stars at night, fellowship with great friends, and walking to school and seeing hundreds of kids on the road. I don't realize how much I miss Africa until I'm here. Also here is the annoying bird that wakes me each morning...the same awful bird that I dealt with in Tanzania....I know I'm in Africa when I hear it's song!

The kids are doing great. Kwanele is the one sleeping in the picture...he is doing okay, but not well. He is being treated for respiratory problems and his breathing is very rough, he gets tired easily, and doesn't have much to say except, "I love you, Aunt Dianne." I love him. He was just 2 years old when I was here last and he hasn't grown all that much.

Here are some pics of my "peeps" and I hope you can tell how happy we all are to be together again!

Will write more later. Lots of love, Di

Fierce Conversations

2008-10-09T17:14:00.000-07:00

In my relational leadership class at the UW, we are reading a book called "Fierce Conversations." Over the past seven years, I have been learning, practicing, and sometimes failing at having fierce conversations with people in my life, especially family. I found my voice in Africa and have wanted to build new behaviors around the way that I communicate with others. This past year has been full of conversations that have left me challenged, hurt, humbled, and wishing I had kept my big mouth shut! I guess the point is that I want meaningful relationships in my life and I'm not willing to keep my mouth shut anymore. Oy veh.

Kindness

2008-09-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today about what kindness looks like in my life. Am I kind to the people around me? How do I show kindness? This question came up for me this week as I was contemplating what to do about a relationship that has been anything but a study in kindness. I was reminded this weekend at my nephew's wedding about I Corinthians 13: love is patient, love is kind...I feel anything but kindly towards this person right now. I'm really struggling to be kind to this person when what I really want to do is kick their ass from here to China and back...twice! It's interesting the situations that God puts me in and I know He does it as an exercise in building my character. UGH!

What a difference a year makes

2008-07-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

It was a year ago today that I spent my first day in South Africa at a hospital with 2 children and a caretaker waiting for hours to be seen by the doctor. They are all HIV+ and I can still remember sitting there and watching the small waiting room fill up - there were 25 chairs and 3 benches along the wall. The room continued to fill to standing room only and eventually a line began forming outside. All of these people were HIV+; there were a few men, many women, and some babies. I was holding Kwanele on my lap (he was 3 at the time) and just hugging him tightly, amazed that he was sleeping soundly on my lap...because I was a virtual stranger to him. Kwanele and I would become friends over the course of my time in South Africa. There weren't many days when he didn't take a nap either on my lap or in my bed (he loved my sleeping bag)! He had a way of putting his arms on my chest and looking at me before laying his head down to go to sleep. I miss him and thank Jesus that he made it another year. I don't know how many more he has left.

I am missing my kids with all my heart today. I would love to see them smile, watch a movie, run around the compound, read a story, or lay in bed and have them crowd in with me. They are a precious gift and I'm so blessed to love them.

Life in the Grueling Lane

2008-07-14T20:35:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I just want to hide under the covers for a while! Work has been good lately after going through a particularly difficult rough patch. Every day gets better and I give up my need to know it all on a daily basis. So far I've attempted unsuccessfully to do 2 IV starts. One of my goals is to become proficient in this skill, especially when I move overseas. I'm finding that my anxiety is becoming less every day. Thank you Jesus!

School is about 1/2 way done for the summer quarter and while we don't have any exams (can I hear a YIPPEE?!), we are having to write a paper entitled "Caring". It's an interesting assignment and I'm hoping to walk away from this quarter being able to think more critically (with the brain cells I have left...not that many!)

Family life has been extremely challenging of late and it really is too bad that you can't pick your relatives! But as with all things, this too shall pass.

The most exciting thing in the last month was getting an actual paycheck...something I haven't seen in over 6 1/2 years! God is definitely good at providing.

What a Year!

2008-06-22T21:09:00.001-07:00

This time last year, I was preparing to return to Africa. A year later, I feel that sometimes my time there was a bit surreal. Many things have happened as a direct and indirect result of returning to Africa last summer.

1. I became a nurse...finally.
2. I decided to finish one more year of school to get my BSN.
3. Took a job as an RN at a hospital and signed a two year agreement. So far, I'm enjoying my job.
4. Joined a community group at church in September that has blessed me so much.
5. Faced with the choice of choosing to follow Jesus or to walk away, I can thankfully say that I chose Jesus. It was a close call and I'm cognizant every day of how the enemy fights dirty, but Jesus prevails!
6. Learned the importance of cultivating intimacy with Jesus, which includes dedicated time spent in prayer, reading His word, and understanding what worship really means.
7. Learned that a broken heart can be healed, when that healing comes from my Lord and Savior.
8. I am still committed to returning home to Africa, but know that what I plan for and what God plans for may be two different things. I'm okay with that.
9. I desire to be a wife and mother.
10. I am thankful to have come through the last year stronger, wiser, and with a better understanding of who I am in Christ.

Back to School

2008-06-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I registered for summer quarter at the University of Washington! Everyone is saying that finishing my Bachelor's degree will be so much easier than nursing school. I hope to God they aren't lying. My friend Stella sent me a piece of flair on Facebook that reads " Nursing school: kind of like boot camp for your brain." How true is that! I've had the last few weeks off from school and it's been weird to say the least. I haven't had a routine which makes me feel guilty for spending a day in my jammies, instead of running around like I had too much caffeine!

It's Official...I'm employed!

2008-05-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

I start my orientation week at Providence on June 9th. I'm alternately feeling excited and anxious...like I did before every clinical in nursing school. I'm ready to work. It's been a long time since I've made any money! Becoming a missionary seven years ago taught me the value of many things, especially money and how to live with it or without it. I have to say that God has supplied me with all that I need financially over the last few years and although I have technically lived below what is considered poverty level, I have not gone without anything. How awesome is that!!!!!

Well, I did it! I'm a Nurse!

2008-05-24T20:40:00.002-07:00

As of April 18, 2008, I can officially put the initials "RN" after my name. Pretty cool. Only 3 1/2 years of school, countless hours of studying, stupid exams, and days, weeks, months of anxiety...all to have those initials! I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking it out...it's one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. A group of strangers sitting in a room 2 years ago became family and that is a miracle and a blessing.

I also turned 40 recently and wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. I went through a similar thing when I turned 30...where was my life going, what was I doing, and a million other questions went through my mind. I did alot of growing up in the last decade and change has been a constant element. I spent my actual birthday in Las Vegas with my sisters and their husbands. It's the first time we had all been together in many years and it was awesome. We ate, sat in the sun, played in the pool, gambled a little, ate again, saw a show, went for a gondola ride...and I was sick and barking like a seal through most of it!

Better news is that I was offered a job at a local hospital here in Seattle and I'm going through the HR process right now. Hope to start sometime in early June on a Medical/Telemetry floor where patients are being monitored for cardiac problems, and other ailments. I'm going to be on night shift which will be a first for me, but I'm looking forward to it. I've always been a night owl and only gave it up because of having to work in the corporate world for so long. It'll be interesting to see how my body handles the change.

I also am going back to school in June to get my Bachelor's in Nursing. It's the one thing I've wanted to accomplish since I decided to change careers. Everyone says it will be easier than nursing school...but then, anything would be easier! :-)

That's it for now.

It's been a while

2008-03-08T14:21:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a while since I wrote anything on the blog. I came back from Africa last August and since that time, life has been interesting to say the least. The weeks in Africa were challenging in many ways and I'm still processing all that I experienced. Africa was a safe place for me to grow and change and embrace life. I could be myself and have space to work through issues that came up on a daily basis. Living in South Africa was different for me than living in Tanzania. In seven short weeks, God changed me fundamentally. I've spent the last few months living through those changes and wondering what's next and if it will including returning to Africa.

I graduate from nursing school in a few days...a safari that has taken 3 1/2 years. It seems like yesterday that I was even contemplating going back to school. Now, I'm signing up for another year at the UW to finish my Bachelor's. Something I've been wanting to do for a long time. I'm job hunting, studying for my state boards, taking a vacation to Hawaii, and looking forward to being in Seattle for the next year.

My last week in Africa

2007-08-27T00:57:00.001-07:00

Well, my time in Africa is coming to a close this week. I can't believe how fast the summer (well winter here!) has gone. I've been praying that God would give me a way to say goodbye to my kids and to the friends I have made here....so far I don't have any idea how I'm going to leave. In some ways, I'm ready to come home and be with family and friends. But I'll be leaving such a huge part of my heart here in South Africa. Update on what's been going on. The team from my church arrived last Sunday and God has been very good in meshing our personalities really well. They have been a blessing, especially to have connection with home.

The first day that they were here, the primary school did a program for us that included lots of music and dancing done by my Grade 7 students. School was finished at 11:30 a.m. that day and the kids were thrilled. They treated us to dramas, music, dancing, a net ball game, and a soccer game. They wanted to say goodbye to me and thank you and it was one of the most beautiful days of my life. I came to South Africa to love 30 kids and got to meet and love a 1,000 more.

The team has spent time teaching at the school as well and the kids love it! We have been painting playground equipment, attending teenager bible studies, and anything else that the kids are involved in.

To be honest, I've been a bit of a basket case here. So many emotions, and God has just been working me for the last few weeks and I've cried more than I've ever cried before; laughed more than I've ever laughed; and have been sick for most of it! Please pray for healing of my body...I've been fighting bronchitis for 3 weeks, and now it has moved into my ears...not good with the many hours I will spend flying this weekend. You can also pray for healing of my heart. It has taken a battering here in many ways and I'm having to surrender everything to Jesus every blessed day. I listened to a sermon by my Pastor a few days ago about faith and if you aren't hurting and growing and suffering, how can your faith grow. This morning I told God that I needed a bit of a break from all the growing and hurting! I hope He's listening!

I start the long trek back to the states Friday night. Would appreciate prayers for safe travels and looking forward to seeing all of you when I return to Seattle. I'll be spending a few days in Los Angeles and then heading up to the cold, yucky weather. Sorry you all have had such a wet summer! But I had to have 2 winters this year!

Love to you all. Enjoy the newest batch of pictures! Dianne

Such a week!

2007-08-14T10:59:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been an interesting week. I'm fighting my second bout of bronchitis. I haven't been this sick in a while. We laugh at school in the mornings when all the kids start doing their "cough chorus"! I am not a mama anymore, my kids now have a new caretaker, a beautiful lady that I think will be very good for them. But I miss them.

The team from my church arrives here this weekend and that means I just have over 2 weeks left here. Some days I'm ready to come home, other days I can't wrap my brain around having to leave.

Tried to post some pictures, but dial up isn't all that friendly. Will try later this week. I finish my teaching at the primary school on Friday. I've enjoyed being with those kids and have loved the kindness of the teachers and staff who welcomed me with open arms.

Miss all of you and thanks for the emails. They keep me sane! Much love, Dianne

2007-08-03T11:31:00.001-07:00

well, the pics will have to wait til I go to town tomorrow and have something better than dial up!

My "typical" day in Loskop

2007-08-03T11:10:00.000-07:00

Well, for all who know I am NOT a morning person, I start my day at 5:30 a.m and get my 5 kids up and ready for school. About a week ago, we got back 3 kids that had been gone for a while and they needed a caretaker until a permanent one can be found, so I am "Auntie Dianne" which I love. They range in age from 4 - 10 and they are a handful. Will attach pics so you can see. I have 4 girls and 1 boy; the boy Kule, is HIV + and on ARV drugs which we do 2x a day. We have 3 HIV+ kids and 1 adult here right now.

I walk to school with them in the morning and I'm teaching English to Grades 6 & 7. Grade 6 has 180 kids and grade 7 has 120. I alternate the days that I teach each class...I didn't realize how much I missed kids until the first day of teaching and saw all of their beautiful faces.

In the afternoons I am playing nurse. We have our share of colds, which I'm just getting over. I've done home visits to sick people in the community, sat with one pregnant gal at the clinic to make sure her baby was okay. She's 6 months pregnant and came to me because she hadn't felt the baby move in 2 days. I told her that I hadn't had this quarter of nursing yet, and she laughed. We sat at the clinic just around the corner for 3 hours before we were called to go in. Have made friends with the administrator and will be doing home health visits with her in the next few weeks.

Had a team of 6 people here from South Florida for 2 weeks and that was a blessing. They were able to entertain the kids and give the rest of us a break. My team from Mars Hill comes in just a few days and then I am going to have to get ready to come back to the US.

Not sure how I feel about that yet, have found a place here with these kids that is precious and wonderful and I can't imagine leaving them.

My day finally wraps up when I've got the kids in bed, asleep (blessedly) (and my heart felt appreciation to mom's everywhere who do this every day!)

Much love to all of you. Was homesick yesterday, but reading email was therapeutic. Bye for now. Enjoy the pics.

News from South Africa

2007-07-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone...well I've been at the orphanage for a week now and have settled in quite well. Still learning the names of all the children, but have made fast friends with them. My two special friends are Fundo and Quinelli, toddlers that stay here during the day, while the big kids go to school. Have had to adjust a bit to being here...but I woke up the first morning and thought I was still in Tanzania! I had to blink a couple of times. We have mountains all around us, fields of brown grass, and lots of houses. Things are similar to Tanzania, yet very different. They are burning brush right now, reminds of the days in TZ when we would wake to fire on a sunday morning and it was close to my house!

Enjoyed my first sunday, lots of singing, a good message, and a birthday party for one of the girls in the choir. the church meets at the preschool and they are kind enough to let us be there each week. The schools are all close to the orphanage which is nice. The little ones get a ride to school in the mornings, and the older kids complain and always want a lift too.

Went to town last week and they have 4! supermarkets, plus everything else you need. Far more access to stuff here than in Tanzania. And the roads are asphalt...Praise Jesus! We are spoiled here.

Love the Zulu culture and I'm trying to learn the greetings...they use clicking and that is hard for me to get used to. I've been talking to a pastor that lives here and we have been comparing the Zulu and Tanzanian cultures...so many similarities and some subtle differences. It's fascinating to learn about this tribe. Will write more later and add pictures as I can. Love to all, Dianne

Greetings from Mumba

2007-07-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

Hi, today I am in Sumbawanga, the town where I went to shop while I lived in Mumba. Things are the same, but different too. Used the ATM at the bank for the first time, that was cool! The market is still the same and went to see old friends who are store owners. Made a new friend at the bus station where I had to get a ticket so that I can travel back to Mbeya on Friday...the ticket was free! So great. Got to see another group of students and that was so great. They are all studying hard and doing well. We are at an internet cafe in town doing wireless! So many changes. Will post pictures later.

2007-07-09T06:19:00.001-07:00

Pictures are posting at the bottom of the blog!

2007-07-09T06:03:00.000-07:00

I'm off to Mumba tomorrow. My friend Brook arrived yesterday and we will be heading back together. She says the road is pretty good, so we should make the trip in about 4-5 hours. Yesterday I was able to spend time with 9 of my former students who are here in Mbeya finishing their secondary education. It was so fun to see them and catch up and see how they have changed. The boys have more facial hair and are as handsome as ever, and Rachel continues to have a beautiful and generous heart. I'm so proud to see that they have continued with their education. I taught most of this group English for two years! Hope the pictures post!

Love, Dianne

2007-07-07T07:45:00.000-07:00

Today is July 7th and it is Saba Saba day in Tanzania which means it's workers day and they get to rest. Not much rest going on in Mbeya that I can see though. I spent 3 days in Madisi visiting friends that have built 3 schools in that area. It was cold and rainy...reminded me of Seattle! We didn't have generator for two nights so my laptop and phone went dead! It's been great having cell service here in Tanzania...I feel so much safer.

Three years ago, cell phones were just coming to Tanzania and now everyone has one. I am sitting in an internet cafe with one of my former students Rachel, who I found because I got her cell number from another friend! I am meeting with several students here in Mbeya tomorrow and we will all go to church together and then to lunch. My swahili is coming along, I have forgotten many words, but they seem to come back when I need them. I'm staying at the Karibuni center where I forgot that they have dogs that bark all night long! Next time, I'm staying somewhere else! Will write more about my time in Madisi later because it was really good to see the work going on there. That's all for now. Love, Dianne

Made it to Tanzania

2007-07-01T09:39:00.000-07:00

Well, after several mind-numbing hours of flying and layovers, I made it safely to Dar. I'm staying at the guest house where I used to stay when I lived here. It's good to see friends and familiar sights. Saw Mt. Kilimanjaro this morning from the plane at sunrise...it's good to be home. Will probably see my friends Steve and Godfrey as they are heading for Dar to get another school registered with the government. I'm headed out to their village tomorrow and anticipating a long bus ride. Will go through a game park which always has a few elephants and giraffe hanging out by the road. I'm happy to be back in Tanzania!

Will write more as I get the chance.

Getting out of LA

2007-06-29T13:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm sitting at the British Airways gate, waiting to board. It's been a busy day already. Went for a sail with my brother-in-law (he had to twist my arm), then went to Inn & Out Burger for my last meal:-) (he had to twist my other arm!). Got to the airport and had to do a bit of suitcase content shuffling and said goodbye to my bags, at least I hope until Tanzania. I'm flying out on a 747 to London, where they had bomb scares today in the theater district. Had planned to stay in the airport and I guess this is a good sign telling me to stay put when I get there!

Will try to post again from London or as soon as I arrive in Tanzania.